Tuesday, July 26, 2005

meeting with jesus proves tricky.

I feel surrounded by a sea of possibilities for my relationship with jesus, yet none of them seem to actually work for me. all the ideas out there feel like hard work and ungraceful ways of meeting with god. the best way I find is just in sitting or being and talking to jesus as I go. the bible feels pretty irrelevant to me, although I like reading old testament stories. I feel drawn to worship and prayer but have difficulty finding a place I feel peaceful or able to do that. and it's hard having had a full-on in love with jesus relationship in the past - feeling like anything else is not good enough, although I don't think god intended that to be a static state of relationship for me and him. I wonder where he is taking me...


Blogger dan said...

to swindon, probably.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005 10:28:00 pm  
Blogger milsoms said...

Hi Jen. I visited your blog to read about the criticism thing, but reading this post has given me immense comfort because you have described exactly the place I'm in, and have been for a few months.

The only difference is that you wonder where God's taking you - whereas I wonder what I've been doing wrong.
On reflection, I think your take on it is more healthy, and more based on God's personality. Mine's just a guilt-trip.

So thanks for posting this and putting into words what has been frustratingly abstract for me. It's really helped :)

Ruth M

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 12:20:00 am  
Blogger Stephen said...

Nice blog not very odd looking :-) nice and tidy I like it. I was also just chatting with someone to day about all ways encouraging the positive and focusing less on peoples weakness!!! must be something going round eh :-)

Wednesday, July 27, 2005 6:10:00 am  
Blogger Keith United said...

Hi there Jen,

Hope you don't mind me adding something - i happened across this, and i think i'm also in a similar place. I'm not sure if i'm being selfish or selfless - just doing what i feel God is leading me into. Anyway, i found this quote yesterday, and i love it.

�Therefore, whatever you see your soul to desire according to God, do that thing, and you shall keep your heart safe.�

Abbott Anthony, Desert Father

I hope that doesn't sound like pious rubbish, apologies if it does!


Wednesday, July 27, 2005 9:53:00 pm  
Blogger bea said...

laul - you always spout pious rubbish but when it comes from your mouth it speaks really clearly into situations. i love it.

so jen, how lovely that you are blogging. it's great to read this. you have grace-coloured specs in the way you see everything and that is so encouraging to me. i get so dragged down by law and dreary rubbish.

i wonder where he is taking you too!

Thursday, July 28, 2005 2:05:00 am  
Blogger Simone said...

I heard a talk just the other day and it was about this kind of thing, this kind of time in my life too. It's where faith comes in, trusting in the God we have gotten to know better, differently. We know the foundations, we have been through the 'in love' stage. Now we love, we worship Him in a deeper way, we chat to Him as you said. God is taking you deeper into a love sea with Him.
This lady who did the talk described it as God hiding Himself, the hiding time as opposed to manifestation time. It's where you seek His face and He seeks yours. These are the challeging good times!
That's my take on it, I might be totally off on one, though. Stick with the Book. When I started feeling like you are, I read the whole of the OT as if it were a novel! I'm in the new now though, reading about Jesus, how He did things, how He lived.

Thursday, July 28, 2005 6:33:00 pm  

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