Christmas is here - apparently. I'm feeling muchos Christmassy as my family are having Christmas dinner 8th December as my brothers aren't around at Christmas. So I decided to bake mince pies for the first time. I've done two batches so far and they're improving. I really want to bless my mum this year and give her more of a break and start 'momming' myself and bake what I can for her. Does it mean you're getting older when you start baking things to take to your parents!

So I went to see Moby last night with amazing, radiatingly beautiful Han Stoney - one of those people who makes you feel like and want to be more of a good person when you spend time with them. So we got tickets to see Moby anyway and it was an amazing experience. It was the first time I've been to a concert of that sort and it was really something to see people on stage doing something they are passionate about doing. I was asking God about Moby, because he's rather an intense guy on stage, and God said it was because he really wanted to comminicate to people how he felt, so that they could really experience the feelings he has. I was thinking about worship leaders and normally that are just leading people into the presence of God, but if Moby was doing it he would also be communicating to people what it's about as well as leading them into an experience. There were some really bright lights on stage that shone so brightly you couldn't see him, and it really struck me that's what leading and communicating God is about - being a mirror for The Son so that what you reflect to people is God. Not explaining or convincing but reflecting God.

the house is settling down for the night and now I'm waking up - why does that happen with these wierdos we call creatives? I used to be such a morning person, but for some reason everything starts forming together and flowing out of me just when I should be going to bed. Hmm.

Bea and Andy came round for tea tonight - I love them so much, and I love when people feel at home in your house and start getting things out of cupboards and poking around looking at your stuff, not that they did, but they could and I'd want them too. eh?

ok, so this is the thing - I'm so loved up on God (still - and not sorry either) - and the thing He showed me while I was in Prague was that the more I lean into Him for all I need the deeper my relationship gets with Him and it's so wonderful because I'm sharing more with Him rather than doing that classic 'chin up, you can cope business' all by my lonesome. This is really basic, but instead of reaching for the phone or whatever when I find myself stuck or worried or stressed or sad or even happy I'm reaching for God and guess what - He's always there! He is my support and strength and sense of humour, and all that I have in my life right now, literally *everything*, comes from Him so why would I start needing to be in control now? That's part of my big learning wonderment at the moment - everything comes from His grace already and He has enough grace for everything else that has come or is going to come in my life as well - man, I LOVE God!

wow - really tired at the moment after a running landing into england, but also really loved up on God. I dont know why - maybe just His grace - but I feel His love on everything - buying Christmas presents and thinking about the people they are going to, or just seeing friends and really appreciating them and loving them, or being really grateful for every material thing God has blessed me with. I'm also feeling really Christmassy and I baked my first ever batch of mince pies ever today and wore the apron my mum used to wear and I really felt like 'mom' cooking goodies and loving other people by what I'm making - all the mince pies got eaten between abigail's band practice and the pray thing I went to. anyway - so appreciate and love, I think sometimes we forget how really lucky we are. thanks God - a lot.

...ether this is october sierra hotel - radio silence has now ceased, operations are back to normal levels...

so the Jones' keyboard broke (no, it was *not* me) and most of the keys typed two letters instead of one so my blog would have looked like this - jhertrre oisamn iomn optrsahguire - maybe you can see why I didn't blog.

prague was good, a break in a being in a different environment kind of way rather than a lay back and relax kind of a way - but it was good to be away and now it's good to be back. God really continued teaching me whilst I was there. I realised as well that it's not just theory teaching but fully embodied in my life teaching - that realisation moment being a cross between scary and amusing as I thought about the scope of the things He's talking about. this might make more sense if I put it into context a little - my theology is being radicalized and it's all about how we relate to God and what our relationship with Him is like. I dont have finite beliefs or a full biblical base yet, but it's about why our relationship with God should always be good, and why life should be good even when you're having hard times - so living into this teaching is somewhat interesting and stretching.

the cellar is coming on - my coal hole is blocked in and ready for the fan. I'm still working on ways to clean the walls before I point and paint. the other job on the way is a new boiler. my house has this old-stylee back boiler in the lounge which puts hot water in a tank - it's expensive, there's only enough water for one bath, there is no shower and the tanks take up loads of room in the 'cosy' spare/elisha room - *so* it's new boiler time and allan the boiler dude is coming round to quote.

help - I've come back from prague saying 'dude' all the time, and have converted my vocabulary to american english but with a posh english accent - help me to speak normal again LORD, not to mention the emotional scarring from the anti-english jokes... really though thanks and blessings to the Jones, amy and derek and kim. more soon as now that I've fully landed back home my mind is whirring with little bits of stuff that make you go - hmm...

...ether this is october sierra hotel - radio silence has now ceased, operations are back to normal levels...

so the Jones' keyboard broke (no, it was *not* me) and most of the keys typed two letters instead of one so my blog would have looked like this - jhertrre oisamn iomn optrsahguire - maybe you can see why I didn't blog.

prague was good, a break in a being in a different environment kind of way rather than a lay back and relax kind of a way - but it was good to be away and now it's good to be back. God really continued teaching me whilst I was there. I realised as well that it's not just theory teaching but fully embodied in my life teaching - that realisation moment being a cross between scary and amusing as I thought about the scope of the things He's talking about. this might make more sense if I put it into context a little - my theology is being radicalized and it's all about how we relate to God and what our relationship with Him is like. I dont have finite beliefs or a full biblical base yet, but it's about why our relationship with God should always be good, and why life should be good even when you're having hard times - so living into this teaching is somewhat interesting and stretching.

the cellar is coming on - my coal hole is blocked in and ready for the fan. I'm still working on ways to clean the walls before I point and paint. the other job on the way is a new boiler. my house has this old-stylee back boiler in the lounge which puts hot water in a tank - it's expensive, there's only enough water for one bath, there is no shower and the tanks take up loads of room in the 'cosy' spare/elisha room - *so* it's new boiler time and allan the boiler dude is coming round to quote.

help - I've come back from prague saying 'dude' all the time, and have converted my vocabulary to american english but with a posh english accent - help me to speak normal again LORD, not to mention the emotional scarring from the anti-english jokes... really though thanks and blessings to the Jones, amy and derek and kim. more soon as now that I've fully landed back home my mind is whirring with little bits of stuff that make you go - hmm...

Man, I love it when people get passionate about God!

Well now that I have actually released into what God is teaching me about it has got much easier and I can find Him on the other side of my emotions. I really want to blurt out the stuff He's telling me about but it's not fully in its' fullness yet.

All around me people are home making - the Jones are painting (with this wierd paint that is chalk based and wipes off with water), Derek and Amy are getting furniture and making home, Bea and Andy have just moved in to their new home recently - it all seems to rhyme with what is happening in the odd shaped house at the moment. I can't wait to go home and finish the walls and get that space really activated.

Off to negotaite the tram now as the metro is still flooded from the summer, just as well I know God seeing as my Czech is a bit sketchy - He can hold my hand. It's very funny being the house of one of the blogs you normally read from afar - especially when that Tall Skinny Kiwi Andrew is mainly slandering me and the English - just as well I can hold my tongue about the kiwis eh Andrew?!

This is a little taste of the stuff I am dwelling on at the moment:

'I find in the bible a divine command to be a pleasure seeker - that is, to forsake the two-bit, low-yield, short term, never-satisfying, person-destroying, God-belittling pleasures of the world and to sell everything "with joy" (Matt 13:44) in order to have the kingdom of heaven, and thus "enter into the joy of your Master" (Matt 25:21, 23).'

from Desiring God by John Piper

This weekend I am hanging with Tall Skinny Kiwi and his family in Prague. Andrew, aforementioned tall skinny man, has just shown me how to do links properly and tidied up the site, which really is very kind seeing as I broke their toilet and almost flooded the bathroom this weekend.
Once again as I travel God has slightly different ideas of what He wants to show me, but it's all good if not slightly more challenging and stretching than I might like. Prague is cold and blustery and we had the first snow of the year my first night here, but there are those gorgeous splashes of golden sunlight betwixt the dark clouds that blows in that crisp fresh wintry fine walk feel. There's so much going on spiritually for me, but it is still growing to its full form so I feel pregnant with new teaching and growth and I really want to birth but it's not time - man I hate waiting!
hmm - there's more but I dont know what it is yet...
blessings to all the beautiful people at home - i love you guys

PRAISE YOU JESUS! I never knew concrete could be so exciting! I've just got back from working away this week to a cellar with real concrete lined dry floor! Ii's so flippin' exciting I could burst! Hey look, every line is ending in exclamation marks - it must be real! Seriously - the space down there just feels clear and fresh but tingling with expectancy for what is to come. My head's overloaded with ideas and thoughts and images... Walls still need cleaning and pointing and the extractor fan at the coal hole is still to go in. But check this out - I'm now sitting at the top of a FOUR floor house. GOD IS AMAZING! And this tingling expectancy is now going to get worse as tomorrow I go to Prague for 10 days to see Amy and Derek, the Jones family and Kim and all those beautiful people out there. I'm going to be praying whilst I am away!
Bless you far more than you could ever imagine.

and I'll still be blogging from Prague...

the builders are in! even as I speak, bricks are coming up from the cellar to the back yard and the way cleared for a new, stronger, waterproof floor to go down. is it coincidence that 'the secret place of thunder' is playing on my stereo? this music by stephen roach has to be the most amazing spiritual music that opens up the doors to God's world for me. like in the psamls 'Lift up your heads O you gates, that the King of Glory may enter' (psalm 24), this music opens ancient doors that hinge between our reality and God's reality.

throw away you television
time to make this clean decision
master waits for its collision now

it's a repeat, of a story told
it's a repeat, and it's getting old

throw away your television
make a break big intermission
recreat your super vision now

throw away your television
take the noose off your ambition
reinvent your intuition now

from throw away your television by the red hot chili peppers, by the way
articulate words with lucid vision. what was that about thinking clearly?

�But you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn whose names are written in heaven.�
Hebrews 12:22 - 23

I turned over my calendar for november today and the image is a radiant shining and darkly brooding landscape � it seems to reflect how it feels spiritually at the moment � a rich presence but also something fresh and clear and new coming in. Change is in the air. Change is always challenging � to self and comfort zones and preconceived ideas. It brings tension and you have to weigh up all the different things you are surrounded by. Remember or seek that which is most important in your heart. It�s good to stop and think sometimes � breathe deeply and think clearly.

"there is and has been in my life a feeling that life is much bigger than I see it"

Wendy Cooper blogged at the Soularize conference.

the odd shaped house is growing!

part of the vision for osh has always been for the cellar to get renovated into a dry space so it can be used for art and prayer and creative stuff generally, and it's halfway done! Lovely tony the electrician has just finished putting in light fittings, sockets, a new curcuit board and the fan electrics. Next week the builders come to do the floor and ventilation. Which means a lovely weekend for me with mask, goggles, gloves, power drill and flail - cleaning 102 years of grime off the walls. Nice.

Think though when it's done of all the prayer and worship and creativity flowing up from the root of the house. As Bono said 'Life should be fragrant, roof top to the basement'. Bring it on!

Advice for the wise or not so wise:
if you're going to break a ring with 3 teeny weeny diamonds in it DON'T do it in a house where the carpets are full of glitter!

"The first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day is to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about is not how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished."

George Mueller (1805 - 18later) in The Love Languages of God by Gary Chapman

mmm.

tried to post this yesterday but the internet stood me up.